i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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