I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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