we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
