Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh god it's open bar.
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