my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
