We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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