Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
