pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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