At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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