Umm I'm too high to move.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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