I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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