Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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