were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
me + whiskey = a bad person
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
