my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think my mom watched the whole time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
