Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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