good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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