i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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