I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
