Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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