I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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