i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize