What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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