just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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