I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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