Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
