I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
