Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
