Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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