i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Two words: blizzard sex
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
