just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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