I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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