awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
