He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
BRING THE BAGELS
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
