so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
