You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
