So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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