He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
