Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
