is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
