sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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