He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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