it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
