Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
