Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
