Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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