she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
are you so shy because you have an std?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
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So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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