god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
