Dual....:-)
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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