she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
