All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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