just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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