i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
