I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
