I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Are we still banned from the library?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
