I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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