she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
