just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
