a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My life is pants optional.
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