i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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