What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
