You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
