Yo dont text me then not text me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
