I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
