No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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