my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
